Pull The Plug

I usually spend a long time in the shower.
This was never an issue until I started setting out late in the morning.
I judiciously studied myself to understand why I took so long.
I realised I spent the first 3 minutes (a rough estimate) trying to perceive the smell of water coming out of the shower head.

Before you think that’s disturbing, I should point out here that I am naturally inquisitive.
I already know good water is supposed to be colourless, odourless and tasteless.
So what exactly am I trying to smell?
The answer is simple. At least, simple for me.

Mother Earth has been springing up a couple of wonders lately.
Just look at the way C-19 hit us.
I don’t want any surprises.
I don’t look forward to waking up in the morning, jumping in the shower, only to find out there is a new variant of water… and it smells like CASHEW.🤢 🤮

Water, by default, is a perfect partner for food.
And they advise us to always have some of it (or some fluid) after eating.
We don’t need to be lectured on the benefit except you are the kind that gets some form of orgasm while constipated. In which case, you need to be checked.

Water and food. That’s like a union made in heaven.
Nothing can go wrong. Well, If we decided to put choking off the menu.

Speaking of unity, imagine your favourite food combination.
Amala and Ewedu
Eba and Edikaikong
Pounded yam and efo riro (or egusi, if you like)
Yam and Egg.
Mac and cheese.
Just name it. Exactly how you like it.

Oh, did I forget to mention my one-time favourite?
Fried Plantain and egg… yummy 😋
My go-to meal at a time in my life till I bite my tongue one day and ended up having a blood meal… gross.
I still get traumatised whenever I remember this. But I can not deny the fact that the taste is amazing.

The above-listed food combinations have one thing in common.
There is HARMONY – with peace, if I want to be extra.
I don’t know how the unions came to be, but I know they taste good.
I believe they are able co-exist in the mouth because there is chemistry– a bond, maybe covalent.

Imagine what would happens when these food bonds no longer exist.
They would stop tasting good together.
They can even irritate your system and make you sick.
Then, you will be forced to try out another combo, isn’t it?
This is how our relationships work.

John Donne once said and I quote, “no man is an island, entire of itself.”
This simply means we can’t survive solely on our own.
We have to depend on other people for existence.
That’s why we make friends and we form relationships.

But what happens when friends stop being friendly?
What happens when the bond you thought existed seems to have faded out?
What happens when the supposed special people begin to act ordinary?
Do you pull the plug?

Don’t answer that just yet.

First, I am going to share my idea of friendship.
Friends are great to have.
They are people you can talk to, share opinions with, have fun together and achieve goals with.
You can even get into trouble together.
But how do we choose our friends?

You can’t be sure of the kind of fish your net would catch but you can narrow down your options by choosing the water you fish in. (The juggling Prawn, 2020)

We meet different kinds of people all the time.
Some become friends.
Others grow with us like brothers and sisters.
Some remain acquaintances.
Some are just for the moment.

I don’t have many friends. I don’t think I need so many.
But I have a lot of people I would jump out of bed for, just because they need me.
You can be a colleague and our interaction ends at work. But while at work, I’ll support you 100%.
A colleague can also become a friend I would hang out with after work ends.
Spot the difference.

Some years ago, I came across a friend’s profile and he listed me as his best friend
I found that amusing.
Friends, yeah. But a best friend is entirely on a different level.
Apparently, I had a best friend and I didn’t know.
Funny, isn’t it?

As friends, I believe we have to be on the same level in our relationship –  same page.
Are you your bestie’s bestie?🤣

Friends should be functional.
Friends should have certain roles they play in each other’s lives.
I devised a formula for analysing my relationships.
An idea i got from the mathematical order of operations, BODMAS. Although not in any particular order.
I reformed mine as BraDMAS.

Bra – Bracket off: You’ve seen shoulder pads. They raise shoulders. ((…))
An African expression described raising shoulders as being proud and arrogant. And brackets look like shoulder pads. As a friend, I won’t see myself as someone better than you. I won\’t be arrogant towards you and I don\’t expect my friends to be, towards me. Let’s do away with arrogance and we’ll be fine.

D – Division: The book of Proverbs chapter 27 and verse 17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”.  Friends should rub off on each other. Your excellent traits should divide, fractionate and severe my unpleasant traits, and vice versa. This will make us develop better traits together.

M – Multiplication: Those moral characters need to be enhanced. Our goals should involve elevating and building on existing good habits.

A – Addition: We have to add something to each other’s lives. We should be supportive in our little ways.

S – Subtraction: As my friend, don’t be blind to my flaws. You should correct me when I go wrong. I am not perfect. No one is. Make an attempt to caution me when I misbehave and I shall do the same.

I want to build with friends.
I want my friends to excel.
It is not all about partying and drinking together alone.
But when we win, we party hard together.

Here is the reality.
Some friendships aren’t built to last forever… because LIFE happens.
A Yoruba proverb says, “Twenty children can’t play together for twenty years”.
Life will take us to different places.
Communications can stop for whatever reason.
Some relationships can become unproductive.
We can develop different ideologies of the world.
Differences can come up.
When they do, what do we do?

Do you pull the plug?

Enjoy every good relationship while they last.
Have fun together and win together, while together.
And when it starts to choke, pull out.
If it begins to affect your mental health, pull out.
You can pull the plug, making nobody feel bad.
If you need to pull the plug to connect back to yourself, please do.Because not every friendship lasts forever.

Esteemed readers,

I want to thank you all for the supports in comments, likes and shares. Let\’s keep sharing our ideas of life. There is no right or wrong way to all these because different techniques work for different people.
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Please continue to read, comment and share.

Warm regards

The Juggling Prawn