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The Poster Boy and The Backbench hero.

In a world where praises and recognition define worth, the unsung heroes linger in the shadows—quietly and tirelessly setting up every achievement. These individuals work diligently behind the scenes, their contributions often overlooked, yet essential to the wins we celebrate.

This new post delves into the timeless question: Is it more rewarding to bask in the glow of the spotlight, or to labour diligently in the background, knowing that your efforts are the foundation of success?

What do you think?

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Improper behaviour

Blog, Memoir

You have probably heard how bad behaviour can spiral into bigger problems. For instance, telling one small lie leads to larger deception since the previous smaller lie may need to be covered up by another minor lie, which is subsequently solidified by another tiny lie, and further along, creating an ocean of lies. I shall define improper behaviour as any action that violates acceptable standards or norms. (But if you believe some lies are appropriate, I won’t argue.) Other examples include talking over people and being rude to wait staff. Note that this post is not about analysing lies.This writing might get a little gross so proceed with caution (and maybe don’t eat while reading). Anyway, let’s move on. Bad habits can be formed easily. At times, it can be enjoyable, but we should make an effort to break them. Keeping in mind that improper behaviour, if unchecked, can become a compounding problem.(This is simply because saying “a stitch in time saves nine” is too mainstream). While we can talk about bad habits all day, it’s also important to acknowledge the deep ways these behaviours affect not just the individual but also the people around them. These habits have a ripple effect that influences others’ involvement and engagement, leading them to create their own perceptions and adaptations. Over time, those affected by these habits can adapt in worse ways than the initial problem. One day, I went to use the restroom in a public place and spotted a bottle full of pee just chilling in one of the urinals.Someone must have thought it was hilarious to drop that in there. A couple of hours later, I needed to use the restroom again, and the pee bottle was still hanging around at the same spot.However, it wasn’t alone this time; Alongside it lay some crumpled toilet paper, all thoroughly soaked in pee. As I walked away, I couldn’t help but think about how messed up the whole situation was. It seemed like there were at least two people who acted inappropriately. The first was the one who thought it was a good idea to leave a bottle of pee as a “gift” for others. Honestly, who does that? It left me feeling disgusted and scratching my head at how inconsiderate some people can be. The second user (and possibly the third) must have acted improperly based on certain assumptions, and here’s why: The toilet paper dispenser was conveniently placed next to the sinks for the purpose of drying hands after washing them.Therefore, the second user likely took hygiene seriously, but then spotted the urinal with the bottle and thought, “Why not? Let’s fill it up.” Because using the urinal as a trash bin is supposed to be the new cool – crazy. Compounding this already crazy situation were the urine-soaked pieces of toilet paper. These could indicate that the paper became contaminated from urine residues left in the urinals, or another individual entered shortly after and chose to urinate on the discarded papers and the bottle, further polluting the area. It’s important to note that there were four urinals available in total, but only one became the unfortunate target of this disregard for cleanliness.So the excuse that there was just one urinal isn’t tenable. I often think about how some people act without a sense of responsibility.These folks often act without any consideration for how their actions affect those around them.They don’t give a hoot whether it involves people, animals, communities, or even objects. These thoughts linger in my mind, especially when I hear people voicing their frustrations about ineffective leadership, poor management, and even bad governance. Ironically, the very same individuals, when presented with position of authority or leadership, tend to shift the blame onto previous leaders and then fall into the same negative patterns themselves –and the cycle continues. There are three possible responses to the situations we come across: In every situation, it’s vital to think about how our actions will affect those around us. By putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes, we can understand their thoughts and feelings, which helps us respond with greater compassion and understanding. We can all work on getting better at this over time. If you catch yourself falling into negative patterns or behaviours, take a moment to pause and reflect on how your actions might be affecting the people in your life. By doing so, we all have the opportunity to foster a more supportive environment for ourselves and for those around us. Every small effort can contribute to a larger positive change (Just because change begins with you is now too mainstream). Finally, I’m not saying you should go digging through urinals to pull out pee bottles in public restrooms —that would be gross. But at the same time, please don’t complicate the situation further. For those curious about what I did in response to the problem, I found the number for the maintenance team and called to report the situation and just hoped they resolve the issue.They did. A few days later, I received a message from them thanking me for bringing it to their attention, which made me feel like my efforts were appreciated. If this writing stirred something deep in your soul (or mildly entertained you), subscribe now—don’t deny fate.Already part of the chosen few? Spread the word. Share it. Preach it. Recruit others to the cause.

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The Love You Give.

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Do you know that the love you give reflects your innermost self, a manifestation of your deepest values and emotions?Do you know it’s not just about grand gestures or fleeting moments of passion, but about the consistent, everyday actions that show care, understanding, and respect? Do you know love is not just a simple word?No wonder LOVE is always debated, especially when “Love is not enough” started trending. I was part of that debate at the time. I was against the motion, “Love is not enough” and I had my reasons.I’ve realised we all have different definitions of Love. And that might be the reason for the constant debate.After much deliberation and analysis, I have concluded that it is impossible to give what we don’t have. This writing does not intend to rubbish your personal perception of LOVE. Of all the known characteristics of Love, I have two favourites – Patience and SelflessThese two summarise and simplify the other characteristics. The love you give should be patient, willing to listen and understand rather than judge. It is kind, offering support and encouragement even when it might be easier to criticise. This love forgives, recognising that everyone makes mistakes and that compassion is more powerful than resentment. The love you give should be selfless, often putting the needs and happiness of others before your own, yet it also knows the importance of self-care and boundaries. Selfless love is honest, communicating openly and truthfully, building trust and a deep sense of security. Ultimately, the love you give is a gift that shapes not only the lives of those you care for but also your own, fostering growth, connection, and a profound sense of fulfilment. “You can’t give what you don’t have” is a powerful reminder of the importance of self-care and self-love. To truly offer love and support to others, you must first cultivate those qualities within yourself. Here’s an exploration of this concept: Thus, the love you give is deeply intertwined with the love you have for yourself. By nurturing your own heart and soul, you ensure that the love you offer to others is genuine, sustaining, and transformative. So next time you say LOVE is not enough, ask yourself what kind of love you give and if you give yourself enough love first. Whatever your answer turns out to be would determine how you deal with the issue of LOVE. The ultimate question remains, WHAT IS LOVE?

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Classmates aren’t friends; Colleagues aren’t family.

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The author reflects on the challenges of commission-based jobs, emphasizing the intense competition and potential for unethical behavior. They argue that while competition can be healthy, it often becomes toxic. The narrative emphasizes vigilance in the workplace, the value of genuine connections, and the importance of maintaining personal integrity amidst rivalry.

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Evolution of The Juggling Prawn

Blog, Memoir

Exploring the scientific evolution of the earth, it is wondrous to learn about how massive animals once dominated the world for millions of years before humans emerged. Equally remarkable is the era when plants were the reigning rulers long before these animals appeared. It prompts curiosity about how humans would have coexisted with dinosaurs had they not faced extinction.Undoubtedly, humans would have likely become an endangered species in such a scenario.But we are lucky that’s not the case.Perhaps we can attribute a sense of gratitude to the asteroid that collided with Earth at that time. This weblog is not a lecture about evolution. But if you like, you can watch Live on Our Planet on Netflix. Worth it. Survival has always been the driving force behind every aspect of life. To thrive, one must continuously adapt and cultivate skills or qualities that are advantageous. This notion crosses my mind whenever I begin writing. There are several writers out there. Millions of writers if we want to be realistic.So I always ask myself; “what do you want to write that no one has written before?”“What makes you special?”. “What makes you think people will be interested in your writing?”All these make me want to quit and kill my passion.But I’ve never been a quitter. So, I take a break, breathe in the fresh air, indulge in some distractions, and then return refreshed.Now you have an idea why I’ve been absent for a while. I am not a perfectionist but there are areas in life where I strive to throw in the best possible.I get scared of being crappy.This has always held me back until recently when I learnt that being crappy is part of the process.So I told myself, “Boy, it’s time to throw those craps out there and just be yourself”But first, you have to dress the part – create a new website. My earliest readers would have noticed that prior entries and memoirs were posted under a subdomain under WordPress.And it felt rather generic.Now, The Juggling Prawn has a personalised domain and a sleek website.Jugglingprawn.wordpress.com (now closed) has evolved into thejugglingprawn.comCould you go and check it out? All previous posts have been transferred to the new site. Remember, it’s still a work in progress, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. Don’t forget to subscribe as well! Just input your email, and you’re all set. Now that we’ve got that sorted out, it’s time to dive into work. After all, it’s a brand-new beginning.

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Cut-off Point

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Where is The Juggling Prawn? I am still above water and breathing fine.I have just returned from a fantastic mission that involved, among other things, falling in love.I won’t talk about those amazing and noteworthy moments in this post, but I will at some point… definitely not today.I just wanted to check in and let you all know that I am still here and haven’t cut anyone off. Speaking of cutting off, remember how at the end of the year everyone wanted to cut everyone off in preparation for the new year?It was amusing while also being realistically truthful.It seemed like a lot of people were tired of their friends and they had to be brutal about it.Thankfully, I didn’t cut anyone off… at least not at the time. But there has always been the possibility of exploring that choice. In this day and age, prioritising your mental health is not only important, it’s essential. Trust your instincts and make the best decisions for your well-being, because you deserve to feel your best.(Gosh, I sound like a motivational speaker now, and that\’s not my style).Let’s focus now. You will inevitably lose friends at some point in your life. I have observed this happen at every stage of mine. But, you have the power to keep only the truly valuable friendships in your life. Remember, the toxic and negative people in your life don’t need you to survive. They are like bad food and it’s best to avoid them. I have lost a few friends… not like I had many.Those I thought were real friends but was mistaken.But it’s all good and I feel like it was the right decision for me. It has given me the space to focus on the people who truly matter, and I’m grateful for that. Life is too short to waste time on relationships that aren’t fulfilling, right? Right!In addition, I have made new friends, especially YOU, my audience.Friends I have learned to value. Those I’ve forged some bonds with and believe the future holds tremendous things for us.I firmly believe in the value of unwavering loyalty among friends, and I am confident in my ability to cultivate and maintain such relationships. I am committed to helping each other achieve our highest aspirations and pursue our passions.I will always focus on building positive relationships that uplift and support me. Remember to choose what you believe is best for yourself confidently. You won’t believe it, but The Juggling Prawn is about to undergo a major transformation. I don’t want to give too much away, but let’s just say I won’t be using any fancy ring lights or microphones…if you know what I mean. 🫣 I’m going to start meddling in other people’s affairs as well. I heard it’s fun! 🤣 Don’t forget to subscribe and share ‘The Juggling Prawn’ with your friends. 😉 A significant amount of work has been done for the year 2023. We can expect to see the results of this hard work in 2024. Wishing you all a jolly Christmas and a Happy New Year. 🎅❄️🎄 See Y’all in 2024.

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Untamed Phase

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So let’s get right to it, shall we? via GIPHY My last post was quite a while ago, so I apologise for the delay.Life has been quite hectic lately, and I have been swamped with work and other obligations.I just haven’t had the time or energy to write until now.It’s my fault, but I pretend it’s not my fault. I’m just hiding the truth.For instance, I have been telling everyone that I have been too busy to write, but in reality, I just haven’t felt motivated enough to do so.There is a part of me that wants to pretend that I didn’t procrastinate, and a part of me that wants to pretend I’m not feeling the consequences of procrastination.It’s all a natural defence mechanism. We don’t want to feel guilty about ourselves, so we use denial and justification to convince ourselves that we weren’t wrong.We may even try to rationalize our behaviour by saying that we had to procrastinate to accomplish our goals. funny.It’s a phase, but only a phase. via GIPHY As a child, you have no rent and no worries. Everything is on autopilot and everything is wonderful.And then, before you can say PRAWN, you’re a grownup with a lot of things to sort out at once. Maturity arrives, bringing with it a slew of new responsibilities.You suddenly become accountable, at least for your own acts.Because we were not warned, adulthood becomes a swindle.Survival mode is initiated.That is a phase. via GIPHY Childhood, adolescence, adulthood, and old age are all typical ways to conceptualise the phases of life. However, life goes beyond age and phases are deeper than the three stages mentioned earlier. Individual experiences may differ, and these phases have no one-size-fits-all schedule.This also emphasises that there is time for everything. So I can claim that my time away from writing was a time to disappear.That was a phase. Every phase should involve some form of growth, similar to what we learned about metamorphosis in biology (oh, how I miss biology lectures).Thank God for growth and development. via GIPHY At many different times in my life, I’ve made certain choices. Some of them had significant consequences.Then I learnt from them, and now I can brag about making better selections in those areas. Mistakes are not supposed to ruin us.We should use them as learning experiences and take something positive from them.By doing so, we can grow and become better people.Mistakes should not define us, but rather help us to refine ourselves. A failed test, for example, can help you become more informed about the content in the future, and a mistake in a relationship can help you grow more empathetic and understanding of the other person. Thomas was a perfectionist (I despise that word), and he used to be my friend. Thomas simply desired 100% in everything. Never realistic, he was. He would place excessive strain on both himself and other people. This would frequently result in frustration and disappointment. Our friendship eventually deteriorated as a result of his concern over being flawless.Guess who is filled with doubts now… Thomas via GIPHY Because it is practically impossible to fit perfection completely into life since life itself is not perfect. Thomas started running into issues at work. It wasn’t because Thomas did a bad job, though. Instead, it was because he was overly ambitious and always pushed the limits to get the best outcomes, which isn’t necessarily a negative thing.Being unaccustomed to things not working properly, he had trouble exploring damage control strategies when anything went wrong. He often became overwhelmed and shut down, not knowing what to do. This left him feeling helpless and without control over the situation. He developed a deep fear of failure and was constantly anxious. Therefore, he became frantic and unable to handle challenging events before they spiralled out of control and resulted in severe issues. Since we are no longer connected, I may not know exactly how Thomas survived, but I think he… ermmm…learnt something 😉He must have found a way to use his knowledge and courage to get out of the situation. Whatever he did, it must have been something extraordinary. I understand that things do not always go as planned. And I’m ready to accept that and, if possible, seek possible ways to change. I’m quite adaptable and don’t take myself too seriously. I keep positive by focusing on what I can control. At the end of the day, I know I can always rely on myself and my ability. Regardless of the outcome, I stay confident in my abilities and believe in my judgement. People trust me because they believe I know what I’m doing when they see me. I dare you to disagree.🤺 I feel like I just dropped my CV up there. Now do your things and find me a job. Hahaha hahaha via GIPHY I may have been a risk taker and to be honest, it didn’t always end well. And I’ve learned to accept the consequences. And when things turn out right, happy days. But I’m still willing to take risks when I believe it’s the right thing to do, knowing that I could be successful and that I’m ready to face any outcome. Life is a sequence, and we feel that each subsequent phase should improve. It may not always be the case, but that’s okay. Life isn’t always so straightforward.Do not be too hard on yourself. It’s only a phase. via GIPHY

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A Flawed World.

Blog, Memoir

Imagine a world in which everything is perfect.(Let’s pretend it’s true even if it isn’t.) As we now know, the earth is not a perfectly round sphere.But when God created the Earth, it was magnificent and beautiful.That was before the wrong fruit was consumed.Before the serpent deceived humanity.That was before the first man realised that birthday suits are no longer appropriate for public consumption and that some cover may be required.When greed was not a thing before it became one.Before a jealous brother murdered another brother.Before the universe started throwing us lemons and demanding that we flip them into lemonade. Lola might have been fond of lemons.She might have also made scrumptious lemonades.Lola was timid.She never thought she could handle things on her own.It’s possible that she grew up with low self-esteem.She was powerful, though. I’ve never understood why some people developed a timid nature as children, while others developed bold personalities or behaved like hoodlums.And while some people are able to overcome their timidity, others struggle through life.So unjust. Such an imbalance, hence, a flawed world. Lola was a fighter. She still is.Eventually, she stopped letting life control how she lived.By the horns, she grabbed the bull.She dealt with life.Pushed forward.She persevered, and her strength is an inspiration. But let’s pretend Lola was never timid.Let’s pretend she didn’t think everyone else was better than her.Let’s pretend she was the cutest girl, and when she walked by, everyone stopped and gawked.Let’s pretend she had no trouble interacting with her classmates or making friends while in college.Let’s pretend that she attracted all the boys.Let’s pretend she had everything under control and that her academic performance was excellent.Let’s pretend that she got all she wished for and that she never considered offing herself at some point to end it all. Many people read motivational books, and that’s fine.Some people believe the solutions to their problems in life are in those books.Others think they are the best manual for living, and that’s okay.But we all know that life does not come with an instruction sheet.And how we live and survive is entirely subjective.What works for you might not work for me, don’t you think? Let’s pretend Lola never desired to be the fairest of them all.Let’s pretend she never read “How to Make People Like You in 90 Seconds or Less” by Nicholas Boothman or James Williams’s “How to Make People Do What You Want “.Let’s pretend she didn’t adhere to the advice from the self-help book.Let’s pretend that everything went her way.Let’s pretend she didn’t buy more books in search of solutions.She did all and still did not get all of the answers she desired. The universe is designed to keep us striving.And because we are constantly driven by desires, we are encouraged to keep aiming for the top.And once you reach your peak, you realise there are more peaks to come.You realise times have changed and the perceived best is no longer the best.This is because the world is ever-evolving.So you need to keep moving forward and aim for new highs because anything short of that would be seen as settling for less.That is why the rich will continue to try to get richer, and the learned will strive to learn more. But to what end?When does it all stop? The truth is, it never stops. Not until nature calls.Not until the bones begin to progressively lose their strength.Not until the muscles begin to lose tone.When one no longer has 20/20 vision.When it becomes difficult to remain in a 3-minute squat without losing balance. Lola reconditioned her psychology as soon as she became aware of the situation.She was able to prioritise her objectives and establish new benchmarks.These became her guiding principles as she progressed.She developed her own drive.She constantly motivated herself and set her sights on the top.She succeeded.She is free to choose whether she wants to go for another top at this time.And even if she doesn’t, she is still happy. We all want to live flawless life in an imperfect world.I appreciate a good life.I’ve learned, however, not to kill myself in pursuit of those dreams.I’ll take it one step at a time. There is no rush.And when life hands me lemons, I can put my lemonade-making skills to use. It’s okay if the books don’t provide the answers you seek.It may appear that you are not meeting your objectives, but that is fine.It’s okay if you don’t appear to have everything figured out.Simply keep moving.Set specific and attainable goals.Don’t be disheartened by what isn’t working right now.Consider your destination.You may fail a couple of times, but keep pushing.And once you’ve achieved your objectives, you’re bound to want more.Don’t kill yourself in the process because the universe will almost never be perfect. See you at the top.

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A Gift from Greece.

Memoir

“Wake up, sleepyhead” “You know you can be prosecuted for sleeping by this time”. That was Ben barking at the other end of the phone. His call woke me at 11 am on a Tuesday.Don’t call me jobless just yet.My job sometimes entails staying awake while the whole world is asleep.And NO, I’m not a security guard. Just in case that came through your mind too.But to be fair, I had worked till midnight the previous day and was only able to get in bed at about 3 a.m. “Check your message”.“I just sent a screenshot”. I struggled to fix my gaze on my phone screen. This wasn’t how I imagined waking up this morning.What happened to someone waking me with breakfast in bed?I found myself staring at the picture of a wristwatch. Why am I staring at a wristwatch?The same wristwatch that has been sitting pretty in my cart for almost months, waiting for me to click ‘checkout’ but common sense kept telling me to prioritise other things in my life. Ben knew I’m a sucker for wristwatches and he knew how I treat my watches like they are my babies. They are actually my babies. “If you still want it, tell me and let me check out ASAP”.“Of course I do”, I said. And all heard was “done” and the line went off. I wondered why Ben would wake me up in the morning for a watch I planned to get; it was not even my birthday.Is Christmas coming so early?Has he successfully robbed a bank?I pushed all these questioning thoughts aside and went back to sleep. Ben and I had been close friends for years.We liked the same food. We had the same taste in women and we played the same pranks.And yeah, we exchange birthday gifts too. One would think I was lucky to have a friend like Ben.He was like a brother I never had.Whenever people say they don’t have good friends, I ask them to change their water.The truth is that there are good friends out there. And loyal ones too.If you don’t have them, maybe you need to take a good look at yourself and ask if you’re a good friend to yourself. Years after, Ben and I are no longer as close as we used to be.I think it is safe to say we are no longer friends. Did you say “Life happens”? Na, I would say human happened.Actions happened,And consequences happened. Ben had some other friends. Some of them I didn’t approve of. But we are adults and I shouldn’t dictate who he rolls with. The only time I’ve had to decline Ben’s hangout request is when his dodgy friends are involved.They didn’t like me. They thought I had a holier-than-thou attitude. They didn’t know I had my demons, but who cares?If I were them, I wouldn’t like me too. hahahahaa Ben loved parties. I bet he still does.So when he threw a big bash to celebrate his birthday, I just had to be there.The party was great. I had fun.I loved the views.But Ben only had eyes on Funmi, my +1 for the party.I noticed this but could only smile.I am sure Funmi noticed too but she acted like nothing was happening. You can throw all the signs in this world at Funmi but if you’re not vocal about it, she would act like nothing is happening. I wasn’t surprised when he pulled me to the side after a while and asked who the fine lady was. I told him she’s a tight friend.He grinned, shook my hand and said “Correct”. In all my years of being friends with Ben, we’ve only had to use the word “correct” when something is about to go down but on that particular day, I didn’t imagine that would mean anything. Funmi had fun too. And then it was time to leave.So I called Ben to tell him we would be leaving in a bit. He showed up seconds later, thanked Funmi for coming and then turned to me and said “Guy, you owe me”.I gave him a startled look but I didn’t want to keep Funmi waiting so I told him we would talk about it later and we left. The next morning, Ben was at my door.“what are you doing here so early”, I asked.“Nothing major. I just wanted to stop by”, He responded.We talked about the party and many other things guys usually talk about. I wasn’t surprised when he suddenly stopped, stared at me and said, “You have to get Funmi for me because I like her”.I knew we would eventually get to that part, and I also knew that was his major reason for showing up at my door very early in the morning.I told him he was free to go talk to Funmi since we were just friends.And if she likes him back, all well and good. Don’t judge me for sounding that way.I’ve known Ben for a while and I can rightly say trouble is never far from him.If Ben were to be a killer, I would know where the bodies are buried.And when it comes to emotions, he’s not one to believe in anything surviving long term.He only lives for the moment.So I knew his saying he likes Funmi didn’t come from his heart.He was only interested in getting beneath her undergarment.And I am not going to be involved in that.That would be a decision for Funmi to make solely and without my influence. Funmi knew a bit about Ben and she was aware that all the time I was ever in a mess, Ben was involved.Ben needed me to paint a very nice picture of him.He wanted me to sell a sweet version of him to Funmi.I told Ben that I wasn’t going to facilitate anything. When the Greeks decided to coin the phrase, “Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are”, they weren’t thinking about someone like me. I know

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Pull The Plug

Memoir

I usually spend a long time in the shower.This was never an issue until I started setting out late in the morning.I judiciously studied myself to understand why I took so long.I realised I spent the first 3 minutes (a rough estimate) trying to perceive the smell of water coming out of the shower head. Before you think that’s disturbing, I should point out here that I am naturally inquisitive.I already know good water is supposed to be colourless, odourless and tasteless.So what exactly am I trying to smell?The answer is simple. At least, simple for me. Mother Earth has been springing up a couple of wonders lately.Just look at the way C-19 hit us.I don’t want any surprises.I don’t look forward to waking up in the morning, jumping in the shower, only to find out there is a new variant of water… and it smells like CASHEW.🤢 🤮 Water, by default, is a perfect partner for food.And they advise us to always have some of it (or some fluid) after eating.We don’t need to be lectured on the benefit except you are the kind that gets some form of orgasm while constipated. In which case, you need to be checked. Water and food. That’s like a union made in heaven.Nothing can go wrong. Well, If we decided to put choking off the menu. Speaking of unity, imagine your favourite food combination.Amala and EweduEba and EdikaikongPounded yam and efo riro (or egusi, if you like)Yam and Egg.Mac and cheese.Just name it. Exactly how you like it. Oh, did I forget to mention my one-time favourite?Fried Plantain and egg… yummy 😋My go-to meal at a time in my life till I bite my tongue one day and ended up having a blood meal… gross.I still get traumatised whenever I remember this. But I can not deny the fact that the taste is amazing. The above-listed food combinations have one thing in common.There is HARMONY – with peace, if I want to be extra.I don’t know how the unions came to be, but I know they taste good.I believe they are able co-exist in the mouth because there is chemistry– a bond, maybe covalent.Imagine what would happens when these food bonds no longer exist.They would stop tasting good together.They can even irritate your system and make you sick.Then, you will be forced to try out another combo, isn’t it?This is how our relationships work. John Donne once said and I quote, “no man is an island, entire of itself.”This simply means we can’t survive solely on our own.We have to depend on other people for existence.That’s why we make friends and we form relationships. But what happens when friends stop being friendly?What happens when the bond you thought existed seems to have faded out?What happens when the supposed special people begin to act ordinary?Do you pull the plug? Don’t answer that just yet. First, I am going to share my idea of friendship.Friends are great to have.They are people you can talk to, share opinions with, have fun together and achieve goals with.You can even get into trouble together.But how do we choose our friends? You can’t be sure of the kind of fish your net would catch but you can narrow down your options by choosing the water you fish in. (The juggling Prawn, 2020) We meet different kinds of people all the time.Some become friends.Others grow with us like brothers and sisters.Some remain acquaintances.Some are just for the moment. I don’t have many friends. I don’t think I need so many.But I have a lot of people I would jump out of bed for, just because they need me.You can be a colleague and our interaction ends at work. But while at work, I’ll support you 100%.A colleague can also become a friend I would hang out with after work ends.Spot the difference. Some years ago, I came across a friend’s profile and he listed me as his best friendI found that amusing.Friends, yeah. But a best friend is entirely on a different level.Apparently, I had a best friend and I didn’t know.Funny, isn’t it? As friends, I believe we have to be on the same level in our relationship – same page.Are you your bestie’s bestie?🤣 Friends should be functional.Friends should have certain roles they play in each other’s lives.I devised a formula for analysing my relationships.An idea i got from the mathematical order of operations, BODMAS. Although not in any particular order.I reformed mine as BraDMAS. Bra – Bracket off: You’ve seen shoulder pads. They raise shoulders. ((…))An African expression described raising shoulders as being proud and arrogant. And brackets look like shoulder pads. As a friend, I won’t see myself as someone better than you. I won’t be arrogant towards you and I don’t expect my friends to be, towards me. Let’s do away with arrogance and we’ll be fine. D – Division: The book of Proverbs chapter 27 and verse 17 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another”. Friends should rub off on each other. Your excellent traits should divide, fractionate and severe my unpleasant traits, and vice versa. This will make us develop better traits together. M – Multiplication: Those moral characters need to be enhanced. Our goals should involve elevating and building on existing good habits. A – Addition: We have to add something to each other’s lives. We should be supportive in our little ways. S – Subtraction: As my friend, don’t be blind to my flaws. You should correct me when I go wrong. I am not perfect. No one is. Make an attempt to caution me when I misbehave and I shall do the same. I want to build with friends.I want my friends to excel.It is not all about partying and drinking together alone.But when we win, we party hard together. Here is the reality.Some friendships aren’t built to last forever… because LIFE happens.A Yoruba proverb says, “Twenty children can’t play together for twenty years”.Life will take

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