So the weather is the type suitable for making babies.
You look at her sheepishly and she gives you that shy look and blows you a kiss with her tongue pointing to the side.
(Ladies, you all know that pose).
The atmosphere is dehumidified but the room is getting hot.
Heartbeats are racing like some type of coronary horse race.
You both start to exhibit the behaviour a magnet shows to a metal.

It’s sweaty with several pumps.
The grounds are fertile.
Episodes of JIZZ and the egg (I hope I never have to explain this)
The seed is planted.
And…
BOOM!!!
A baby is expected… soon.

Do you think you know where this writing is going?
NO. I bet you don’t

This isn’t about what you’re expecting. This is not some erotic case file.

We all expect something all the time. Well, most of the time.
Christians expect Jesus to come soon and then, eternal life.
Muslims expect to go to Jannah, the final abode of the righteous and Islamic believers.

Benjamin Disraeli has got to be the most realistic man on earth when he said, “I am prepared for the worst, but hope for the best”.
Some people will say he’s a pessimist.
But, I’m not here to judge what is right or wrong.
‘He was clearly expecting something while expecting’.

Now let’s back it up a lirru bit.

…okay.
Wait!, let’s take it back to the beginning. The beginning of creation, according to the Bible.

God created the heavens and the earth. He saw it and they were good.
He went further to create Man. That was good too.
God gave man the free will to choose between wrong and right (I know someone who would ask why I put wrong before right).
God expected man to be sensible to do the right thing.
God knows everything before it happens, yeah?
So maybe while He was expecting Man to choose right, He also knew Man could
decide to do ‘things men do’.

I keep wondering if the apple Eve collected from the serpent was the green or the red one.’
I also keep wondering if it was the same apple Eve gave Adam to bite from or another apple entirely from the forbidden tree.
If it was the same apple, you can’t tell me that wasn’ t the origin of “Love in
sharing”.

So, Man made his choice and we know where that got us.
Remember the story of the jism and the egg? (Please, don’t ask me still).

A man and a woman copulate. They know what to expect- Pregnancy.
They also expect a baby to be out in about 40 weeks.
The baby might decide to sneak out before the 36th week or just chill and continue to throw kicks for a few more days after the 40th week.

Several pushes, (God bless our women) and the baby is out- beautiful daughter or fresh boy (or both).
Our baby is expected to turn out good (well, all kids are good, ain’t they?).
You want an ambition for him (or her)… that’s your expectation. But he could be nursing other ambitions.
Don’t be dismayed, just support him with prayers and hope he doesn’t become a drug addict or the kind that will see the house with the occupants in it.

We voted for our leaders because we expected them to deliver.
Whether they did that or not, you be the judge of that.
I love the fact that we expect something good from them.
I also like how we put in some shock absorbers with statements like “our leaders are useless still”, and “they are all the same”.

Now you get the point. You have expectations and you also know they can screw up.

Dear Kings, the doctor will always tell you not to stress your wives when they are heavy with the unborn baby.
That shouldn’t be a problem at all. It is expected.
The doctor will not tell you that your wife can wake up and start craving roasted corn and coconut at 2 am during agbalumo season.
Frustrating, they say it is but, I wouldn’t know because I’ve never been in that situation.
If it’s true, I know I will experience it someday.

Leonard Snart (aka Captain Cold), a character in the TV show, The Flash, stated four rules of planning.

• make the plan
• execute the plan
• expect the plan to go off the rails
• throw away the plan.

I won’t subscribe to the last rule.
That last rule shouldn’t even be an option if you were already expecting while expecting.
There should have been a backup plan.
So I will replace that last rule with; executing the backup plan.

In life, we have to take the good with the unpleasant.
You just might be lucky to have it all good.
Keep expecting and back it up with hope… and prayers.

Enjoy what you have. Don’t raise your hopes too high…or maybe you should.
You might be part of the lucky few who have ALL their wishes fulfilled.

But what do I know?

I’m just a happy CRUSTACEAN trying to find my bearing amongst men.